


If I fits I sits

by Menatiera



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpine the Cat, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Crack, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Married Couple, Multi, Pining, and huge crushes, barely any angst, insert bucky barnes: hipster catsitter, steve rogers: artist and army captain, taking care of each other, tony stark: genius billionaire playboy philantropist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22408735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menatiera/pseuds/Menatiera
Summary: Tony's cat is not cuddly at all. Alpine hisses at strangers, hides from people, and has the amazing ability to turn into liquid if anyone tries to touch him.So Tony is reasonably surprised when he finds a man, straight out of wet dreams, in his kitchen - cuddling his cat.Also he might be a little bit falling in love instantly, which is definitely not a good thing if someone is living in a happy marriage. Or is it?*Fic for the Stuckony Server Winter Wonderland prompt event!First chapter fills for Polyship Bingo - N5 - Meet-cute,Later chapter will fill for Tony Stark Bingo - A4 - Wealth as a disadvantage.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 23
Kudos: 100
Collections: StarkSpangledWinter Wonderland Event





	If I fits I sits

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to [DWHPJSherlocked (Navinabinari)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWHPJSherlocked) for the quick betawork again! I couldn't do this without amazing people like you, and without cheerreaders like Dongjunma and cpt_winniethepooh!
> 
> I'm not sure how long this fic will be, how many chapters, etc. I'm winging it as I'm posting. That's very new for me, so any encouragement is welcome!

Tony had to blink a few times when he wandered into the kitchen. He had seen a few things there already - he lived with Steve, and for all of his enthusiasm and experimentation, Steve was  _ still _ a terrible cook - but he never yet had seen a half-naked man playing with his kitten.

And a  _ handsome _ man at that, with a jawline that could rival his husband’s. Up to this point Tony was convinced that Steve’s jawline was the most perfect thing in existence, but suddenly there was competition.

The guy was also muscular, which was something Tony really liked in men. See exhibit A: his husband Steve.

And apparently exhibit B: his daydream hallucinations.

That was the only reasonable explanation why would a stranger kneel in his kitchen and play with Alpine, Tony was sure.

And then the stranger turned and _holy shit_ _there was a metallic prosthetic attached to his left shoulder._ Tony had found him attractive before. Now this was more than attractive. This was downright _interesting._ It was so rare that a person could be interesting in Tony’s opinion. He kinda hoped that this daydream guy was mute. They always turned out to be disappointments after opening their mouths, so…

The guy looked up.

What remained of Tony’s breath caught in his chest.

_ Those eyes. _ Shit shit shit.

Those eyes were beautiful - he wasn’t sure what the rag magazines would call them though. Steve’s baby blues were always mentioned as sapphire and cerulean and such, which was probably fair, even though Tony had absolutely no idea what the heck cerulean meant. But this guy had the gaze of the sky on stormy days, steel-grey and light-blue mixed in the perfect amount.

It wasn’t fair. Tony would have a few questions to his brain. 

He already had a smoking hot husband who stole a significant amount of his brainpower all the time, and here his mind was, coming up with another, differently, but no less smoking hot, dude to torment Tony. If he wanted to daydream, why not imagining Steve?

Well, maybe Steve in the kitchen was a bad idea even to his sleep-deprived brain. Tony was in favor of experimentation, but Steve stretched even his principles thin with his terrible cooking.

“Hello, you must be Tony,” daydream guy said.

Even his voice was nice. And his smile was adorably shy.

He didn’t put Alpine down, though, and Alpine - the monster that refused to be petted by anyone else who wasn’t Tony, Steve included - that beast not only let him do so, but purred, content through the process.

To say that Tony’s jaw was dropped was an understatement.

“You alright?” Guy asked, because he had to be thoughtful slash attentive too, and Tony  _ definitely _ had to have a stern talk to his brain. He was a  _ married man, _ for fuck’s sake. No daydream that didn’t involve his husband should be allowed to be this close to perfection.

The daydream on the tiles frowned, then his face lit up. “Yeah, you’re probably hungry. Stew is on the counter!” He gestured toward said counter with his free hand. “Should still be somewhat warm, though as I’ve heard, you rarely care about that.”

Could someone marry a second person too? Tony needed to know that ASAP. The guy looked like a wet daydream, Alpine liked him, and his meal tasted heavenly… Steve would probably understand the divorce papers if faced with these facts. (Except that no matter how many times Tony stated it, Steve still didn’t believe that he couldn’t, in fact, cook for shit.)

After Tony helped himself a second serving of the stew, Handsome Guy sat down in front of him on the other side of the counter, with Alpine still in his arms.

“So. I definitely know you don’t have problems with speaking…” he started, hitching up the cat’s bottom with his flesh hand while  _ his goddamn metal index finger _ glided on the rim of a water glass, “so did I do something for you to refuse to talk to me?”

Tony nearly swallowed his tongue in his haste to say, “no, not at all, sorry!” while he simultaneously realized that he indeed got so lost in his lustful thoughts that he failed to say a single word to gorgeous stranger. “Uh, sorry for that. The non-talking, I mean, I’m just… takes me a while to get my head out of the workshop even after I dragged my ass up here,” he tried to explain. Probably very poorly, though. “I’m Tony, by the way. Which you probably know. Since you’re in my kitchen. And playing with my cat. How did you get in here anyway? Not like I’m complaining. Feel free to come anytime, really. Especially if you plan to cook, plus Alpine seems to like you, and I am a big fan of trusting the animals’ instincts. So you’re probably not an axe murderer or something.”

The other man scrunched his nose, and Tony’s heart skipped a few beats again. A man of his size and build shouldn’t be allowed to be  _ adorable. _ It should be illegal or something. Tony had a heart condition, and the poor thing couldn’t take this much assault at once.

“I’m pretty sure Steve wouldn’t let an axe murderer anywhere near you, and he can be convincing for sure,” the stranger, who seemed less and less likely to be a daydream, especially now that Tony was fed and therefore probably not hallucinating at all, said. He reached forward with his metal hand, offering an awkward, left-sided handshake without letting Alpine go.

Tony was more than eager to accept it, though, if for nothing else, then to touch the prosthetic.

“I’m Bucky, your catsitter.”

Oh.

Well, that was a bummer.

Tony had to get his stupid crush under control, or he was so going to get a sexual harassment lawsuit by the end of the week.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the prompt I've picked to work on:
> 
> Tony always forgets to take care of himself—and the cat—when he's at home inventing in his workshop all day. So his boyfriend Steve hires cat-sitter Bucky, who somehow ends up cat-sitting Tony as well. Bucky cooked and fed Tony actual meals—all week! And he's hot. Steve and Tony need Bucky to stay FOREVER.


End file.
